How to ask for anything you want.
Jude Sack's Cheat Sheet: A magic question, a portable life-saver, and a secret oasis.
Surprise Thursday letter! It’s a very special Cheat Sheet featuring my dear friend Jude Sack.
Jude and I became friends three years ago when we took a game theory class together. When I first met him, he was known as The Magician of Yale. Since then, he started a weekly podcast called Just Friends with our friend Lula (I drew the cover art!!) and worked on Mr. Beast’s Amazon series, Beast Games. This year he’ll be in Madrid for cooking school. My favorite thing to do with Jude is a long walk where we cover acres of conversational ground with equal parts heart and scrutiny. He is endlessly curious, daring, and kind. I’m so excited to share his cheat sheet, because Jude has kind of hacked his life.
CHEAT SHEET is a series that unveils the objects, rituals, habits, places, and secrets that make life better. It’s like the blue-lined paper you’d make for yourself with all the formulas, tips, and strategies for an exam.
JUDE SACK’S CHEAT SHEET
1. “What will it take…”
This may be the biggest life hack I’ve ever learned. At Yale, I took an incredible course at the SOM (take it if you have a chance!) called Mastering Influence & Persuasion taught by the one and only Professor Zoe Chance. My biggest takeaway from the course was this magic question: “What will it take?” These 4 words have got me free upgrades on flights, secret recipes (like the Mecha edamame), complementary coffee, and so much more.
The logic is simple. Most people ask “Can I have a raise?” or “Can I get a free upgrade?” The framing of these questions allows room for a simple “No,” and when you’re asking for something wild (e.g., “Can I get into the VIP section with only a GA ticket?” ) the answer ought to be “No.” By reframing all your requests with “What will it take” you get rid of the “No.” You transform the requestee from a decision-maker into a solution-maker. Someone can’t respond with “No” to “What will it take to get a raise?” Instead you’ll receive actionable items that you may or may not want to complete. Not only did this magic question increase my effectiveness to persuade but it also made me feel more comfortable asking for things. I don’t fully understand the psychology behind this but it somehow feels much cleaner, kinder, and confident to say “What will it take to get a free coffee?” rather than “Can I get a free coffee?”
So that’s the magic question! Go try it out for yourself. You’ll be surprised at what you can achieve. Sometimes we think it’s much harder to get what we want.
2. Plug Pouch
Some consider it neurotic; I consider it one of the best investments I’ve made. How many times have you forgotten your microUSB cord and were in dire need of a charge? Went to Europe and forgot a converter? Lost your pair of headphones and need a spare? My Plug Pouch is the answer to all of these rare but real moments of distress. Replete with every charger, converter, and techy knick-knack, I’m prepared for literally anything. My HDMI cord allows me to watch Netflix from any hotel room. Saving peoples’ day with the exact charger they need has made me new friends. And I live life free from any anxiety my devices will die.
3. La Banchina
La Banchina is my favorite place in the entire world. I debated including it in my cheat sheet because it feels relatively personal, but because it’s summer and I assume some of you will be traveling to Copenhagen I felt inclined to include it. It’s a must visit!
During my junior fall, I studied abroad in Copenhagen. My mother, who had visited the city a year ago, encouraged me to check out this tiny wine bar she found. So on a sticky August day, I biked myself to Refshalevej and discovered an oasis away from the city.
La Banchina is humble: a tattered, sky-blue wooden shack; a U shaped dock that forms a pseudo-swimming pool in the canal; a limited menu consisting of wine and bread; and a stuffy, crammed bathroom with a faulty lock.
But the energy at this institution can only be described as sublime. During summer the docks are littered with locals sipping wine, swimming in the canal, and liming with friends until sunset. But winter at La Banchina might even be better; the epitome of hygge1. The docks become vacant. The water still. The sauna is turned on. Candles are lit. And every Tuesday there’s soup.
La Banchina, thank you for being my home away from home.
Thank you Jude!!! Let me know who you want to see featured next.
If you missed
’s first one, you can read it here!
A quality of coziness and home that engenders a feeling of contentment
"What will it take?" Is such a game changer. Thanks!!!!
I greatly enjoyed this post! In regards of the question “What will it take?”, the psychology behind it is the fact that it is what we call an open question, to as you said, you cannot simply answer with a “no”. We used this tactic on the sales floor, to get people in positions to engage in a conversation with us and share more information, than they perhaps would’ve been comfortable with otherwise. But yes one would’ve not thought to apply it to all areas of life, so I must thank you for that bit of wisdom.