22 things I've learned at 22
It's my (golden) birthday.
Yesterday was my last day of being 21—I read outside, I met Lil Huddy by accident, and laughed on a hammock all afternoon. At midnight, my friends surprised me with a pavlova in my apartment and I started crying. I’ve been looking forward to turning 22 my whole life because it’s my golden birthday (when your age matches the day of the month). There’s also the Taylor Swift song…and she’s the first singer I’ve ever loved.
I used to watch YouTube videos of people sharing life lessons on their birthdays, counting up to the age they were turning. 18, 25, or 30 years of life were compressed and repackaged into nuggets of wisdom. It felt a little like cheating—absorbing the lessons without learning them myself.
There are similarly formatted letters on Substack, and I always enjoy reading them. So today I thought I’d write my own. Funnily, I feel the youngest I’ve ever been and definitely not wise enough to give mature, adult advice. But here I go anyway, because I think it’s a good exercise, and I can do whatever I want (it is my birthday, after all).
Most worthwhile things take effort and discipline. This includes studying for exams and applying to jobs and getting where you want to go. Luck just tips you over the edge.
If you have a problem with a friend, it’s better for both of you to be straight up with them. I’m so grateful when someone tells me they’re upset with me—it means they care about our relationship and trust that I’ll be receptive.
Every adult should know how to do their laundry, clean a bathroom, and keep the kitchen neat. I used to hate chores until my name was on an apartment lease. When my space is organized, my head is clearer too.
Taking a Pepcid an hour before drinking will prevent you from getting Asian flush. I wish I had known this sooner.
If you have a question about anything (airport terminals, product reviews, baby names), it’s more than likely that someone on Reddit has asked it before. Just add “reddit” to the end of your Google search.
Open a retirement fund and a high yield savings account. Invest your money in index funds. Learn how to file your taxes. Becoming financially literate is not only important, but empowering! My dad always says that money is freedom.
The handwritten card is a long lost art. Write notes to your friends—thank yous, happy birthdays, good lucks—and save the ones you receive in a box.
Pay attention to the way a person makes you feel when you’re around them. Often this will tell you everything you need to know.
Before writing someone off as unfriendly, ask yourself if you have genuinely tried to make an effort. Maybe they’re thinking the same thing about you!
Don’t let a fear of abandonment or rejection stop you from loving the people around you.
Consistency over intensity. It’s better to work out for 15 minutes a day than 2 hours once a week. The little things add up. Didn’t some guy write a book about this?
If you keep hand sanitizer on you and use it diligently, you will get sick less often. And stop touching your face.
Never label the study break, the weekend excursion, or the accidental 3-hour dinner as a “waste of productive time.” These memories will prove to be the most valuable of all.
When something bad (but not horribly life-altering) happens, allow yourself one day of wallowing. Wear sweatpants, sit on the couch, eat frozen food. Cry if you feel like it. Go to bed early, and reset the next day.
Get a hobby that doesn’t involve a screen. I think hobbies are the closest you can get to feeling like a kid again.
No matter how much you think you are absorbing from news sites or podcasts, there is no substitute for reading books.
Good things and bad things happen in waves. When you’re already having an awful day, you might also spill your coffee on your sweater or get in a fight with your parents or score poorly on a test. Trust that the universe will turn in your favor soon.
Establish little routines that bring you joy, every day. In the mornings, I make an oat milk matcha latte with my electrical milk frother and drink it as I get ready for my day. It is a consistently awesome experience.
Buy clothes that fit you well. I hate looking in my closet and seeing the graveyard of pieces I never wear because they are too scratchy, too loose, or too tight. Alternatively, go to the tailor.
Competition is dangerous fuel. Let it motivate you, but try not to let it consume you. A lot of what you think is a competition (like where you go to work after graduation or how many friends you have) really isn’t.
You can cultivate beauty through attitude. After years of wishing I looked like other people, or trying to change what is largely immutable, I have found peace in the realization that I am beautiful if I believe it to be true.
Similarly, embarrassment is a choice. Cry in public, scream-sing on the sidewalk, take selfies, wear dark lipstick, talk to strangers. Life is short.
I love writing this letter! You reading Ad Hoc is the greatest birthday gift I could ask for.
Adding "reddit" to the end of all my Google searches is my favorite life hack.
I'm going to do a post like this for myself even though my birthday was in July.
This was a good read.
Great thoughts. Opening a retirement account and maxing it out as early as possible every year by investing in index funds is the first step to building a strong financial future, yet it's something that none of us learn in school!